Plugged In, Turned On, Tuned Out

So much of what I've written up to this point, and so much of what's to come, deals with the unknown. I don't know exactly how a kid is going to change my life, I just know that she will. Clearly, I want to be the best dadI can be, but until I'm actually engaged in the act of parenting, it's all theory and no practice. That's life.

All that said, I can think and theorize and at least put some ideas in my head so that when the time comes to act, I've at least put some effort into making good, informed decisions and act in best interests of my child and family. Trouble is, then I read an article like this one in the New York Times.

The gist, for those of you don't usually click through because you're reading this on a smartphone (ironically), is that there's some burgeoning evidence that technology savvy parents are spending too much time in front of hi-tech devices, and not enough time engaging with their kids.

Take the picture at the top of the article. I'm sure this particular image was staged, but it's one I've seen often at restaurants. Mom and Dad glued to a phone while the kid is mesmerized by a hand-held video game. (Hilariously, while everyone else in this picture is focused on one device or another, the youngest child is staring at shiny spoon. Soon enough, kid, you too will have a blinking screen. Just practice staring at the spoon 'til then.)

As irritating as it is for me to see kids at restaurants completely disconnected from their families, intently focused on their games, they had to learn that behavior somewhere, right? The article makes the point that we've spent a lot of energy worrying about what the 24/7 wireless world is doing to kids using the technology, but not much time worrying about what we are doing to our kids because we're using the technology, too.

The article loses a bit of steam when it implies that the flickering screens (literally, the screens, not the abilities or benefits inherent in the technology) of our smartphones and laptops are the problem, creating an addiction that's hard to break. But it's hard to argue that spending less time plugged in and more time tending to our progeny is a bad thing.

What is come down to is this: As much as I love my iPhone, I pledge not to use it at the dinner table. As much as I love video games, I pledge to play with my kids, not in front of them. As much as I love the Internet, I pledge to use it for good, not for evil.

Okay, so I lost a bit of steam there towards the end, but my point is that technology doesn't have to disconnect us. And I don't mean to imply that we should suspend our relationship with technology. Far from it. I want my daughter to like video games; and I can't wait (he says with an intact iPhone bearing no scuff or scratch marks) until she's pawing away at the touchscreen on my phone, making sounds and shapes appear from nowhere.

It'll be a good time. I just have to remember where the off button is.