Zen and the Art of Brick Obsession

So you want to indoctrinate your child into the cult of LEGO.

I've been planning just that sort of thing for a while now, so I'd like to share with you these 6 surefire steps for getting your kid to like... no... be passionate about, this sophisticated interlocking brick system.

Step 1. Start early.

You might think I mean that you should introduce your child to LEGO as early as possible. But, no. What I mean is that you need to prep for this BEFORE your child is born. If you already have a stockpile of LEGOs, you're on the right track. If you don't, get going. Buy sets, vehicles, minifigs, any darn thing you can get your hands on.

Step 2. Minifigs

LEGO bricks are one thing, and they are great. They are the main attraction, after all. But the thing that will make your kid want to play with LEGOs at the outset? Minifigs. Mermaids, astronauts, lizard men, gladiators, snowmen, cat ladies, robots, Tiki-masked warriors, skiers, the list goes on.

This is part of starting early. For instance, I started collecting minifigs some time slightly before LG's birth. For the last few years, the company has released series of individually packaged, blind-packed minifigs. For the uninitiated, blind-packed means the product is packaged in a way that prevents you from seeing what you're getting. 

Initially, I bought them for my niece, who was already LEGO-crazy. After accidentally purchasing three of the same figure, I realized I had to figure out what I was buying. So I got really good at feeling through the Mylar bags, looking for accessories that would reveal the figure inside. Find a tiny gun? Probably a cowboy. Find a fishing pole? Definitely the ice fisherman. But the real problem? Once I had a couple of them, I just couldn't stop.

And that's how I got a reputation at work.

This represents maybe half of the minifigs I have in my office.

You could say I had an obsession. I would say I was stocking up for getting LG into LEGO. These are toys, after all, and they aren't getting played with sitting on my desk (at least, not much).

Step 3. DUPLO

LEGO are too small for your kid, at least for a little while. That's why they invented DUPLO. They aren't as much fun, but they're much harder to swallow. Your kid has developed his/her pincher grasp? Then they're ready for DUPLO. Granted, they won't do much but put them in their mouths, but this about exposure.

Your child may also starting hoarding them under his other toys. This is also fine.

The real problem with DUPLO is that they're so big, you can't have too many of them. They just take up too much space. So what do you do with DUPLO?

You build towers.

Step 4. Use your mental powers to get LEGO to make a movie.

This step is self-explanatory.

Step 5. Take your kid to see this movie.

Yes, it's a 104 minute LEGO commercial. I have no problem with this.

Because movies = joy.

If the movie has a ridiculous theme song that no one can ever stop singing, so much the better.

Step 6. Give your child a pile of LEGO bricks and a baseplate
If you've done everything right, it should go something like this:

And it lasted for nearly two hours.

At this point, you've hit the jackpot. Because, now, you can play with LEGOs, and it doesn't look weird.

Me: Hey, do you have a 2x2 flat piece I could borrow?
LG: But it's part of my castle, Dad.

I may have created a monster.