Baby/Mama Drama, or the Lack Thereof

If this pregnancy has been characterized by anything, it's a distinct lack of drama. Sure, you could chalk my lack of pregnancy-related posts up to the fact that the blog is about three years old, and I post less often. Or it could be that we haven't had a new ultrasound appointment every four weeks. Or that no one has flipped out about this kid being too big, or too small, or not having enough room, or whatever other thing will drive us nuts for a few days. And that lack of drama isn't coming from us. Hollie and I were fully prepared to indulge in every crazy swing of medical opinion the second time around.

Thankfully, the docs at Penn Medicine seem to be largely sane, reasonable people who don't freak us out every other appointment.

That is, until yesterday, when a slightly overzealous, overly excitable student midwife sent us to the hospital when Hollie said that maybe, perhaps, possibly she's felt our son kick moderately less frequently than he had been doing in the previous few weeks.

Evidently, according to the midwife we've been seeing most frequently, the magic words are "less frequently." So off we went to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania.

It should be said: As much as we hoped to just be on our way after this routine appointment, there were significant advantages to a brief sojourn at the hospital, such as:

1. I haven't actually been to this hospital before, despite its location about four blocks from my office. Much like our one-week-from-the-end false alarm during LG's time in Casa de Hollie, it let us preview the hospital at a slightly less stressful time.
2. I now know where to park. Score.
3. I now know where the maternity ward is located.
4. I now know where the visitor's lounge is located.
5. I now know where to get Potbelly subs.
6. I now, finally, have an ultrasound picture of our son.

Boom.

It's hard to tell if he's sucking his thumb or trying to punch the ultrasound wand in the face.

The hospital monitored the baby's heartrate, Hollie's heartrate, and the sporadic contractions she's been feeling for almost two weeks. Following those tests, she had an ultrasound. It should be said, the purpose of this ultrasound was NOT so we could get a picture. But I wasn't going to pass up the chance to grab one, and the tech helpfully obliged. Many thanks, goofy HUP ultrasound tech!

Oh, did I mention the tech was a little weird? Yeah, we had a nice little chat about Obama's mother, anthropology, the tech's family who lives in Kenya (the tech was Caucasian, it should be noted), the fact that she thinks amniotic fluid viewed via ultrasound looks like a star-filled sky, and other things I'm totally forgetting because the conversation was all over the place.

All in all, the trip to the hospital took about two hours and cost us $7 for parking. But we got a picture and a hospital preview, so whether or not it was absolutely necessary, it was totally worth it.

A letter to my unborn son: 10 Reasons You Should Try to be Born Today

Dear G2,

Yes, I realize you're not technically due until March 28, and with every passing day it seems more likely that we'll have to wait 'til then to meet you. But if you'll indulge me, I'd like to make a case for why it wouldn't be such a bad thing to be born today.

1. It's the last day of Winter! It's the first day of Spring! It's crazy confusing, but it's sort of neat. Most of the time, the Vernal Equinox happens on March 20, like today, when it officially happened at 7:02 a.m. Then every once in a while, like 2007, the Equinox will fall on March 21, and it'll make you wonder whether or not you've been imagining your birthday's significance your whole life.

2. A bunch of really cool people were born on March 20. It may not mean much to you now, but it's epically cool to share a birthday with Mr. Rogers and Big Bird. (Side note: I'm going to try very hard to make you understand how awesome Fred Rogers was. We could all stand to be better neighbors.) And if that doesn't doesn't do it for you, maybe you'll appreciate sharing a birthday with the 10th Doctor's second companion, Martha Jones (or at least Freema Agyeman). (Another side note: if you can't come today, wait 'til Friday. It's Captain Kirk's birthday. Not William Shatner. JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK!)

3. You can get free Rita's Water Ice on March 20 and pretend they made a holiday just for you.

4. You'll be a cusp sign of Pisces/Aries. Super confusing, at least to any of your friends who are super into the Zodiac. They'll spend hours trying to draw a star chart for you, and you can just laugh and doodle a fish with a goat's head. Good times.

5. Your mom is tired, and would like to bring you into the world ASAP. The whole let's-pretend-I'm-coming-out for 4-6 hours every other evening is getting a little old. You can do better.

6. I'd like to introduce you to the joys of Cherry Black Forest Cake. Your mom isn't wild about chocolate cake and your sister apparently doesn't like cherries. You're my last hope.

7. Albert Einstein published his general theory of relativity today in 1916. This is pretty significant, and will mean a lot more when I'm helping you with your physics homework in 16 years or so.

8. Here's a good reason you should be born in the next 8 hours or so. There's a good chance we're going to get slushy accumulation overnight tonight, so I'd rather get your mom to the hospital before that happens. Got it? Thanks.

9. As long as your mom doesn't go into labor in the next few hours, I'm going to see Demetri Martin in person at the bookstore next to my office. How cool would it be if that were only the second most awesome thing to happen today? Pretty awesome, is the answer to that question.

10. In addition to the cool people I mentioned above, it's my birthday today. And I can't imagine a better gift than meeting you. Come on out and scream, "hi!" It'll be a good day, I promise.

You've got 13 hours or so. Get to it, buddy.

Sincerely,
Your Father

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Technically, G2 isn't scheduled to arrive until March 28, which is nine days from now. That said, LG was 10 days early, and Hollie started feeling some contractions more than a week ago. Given those facts, and the natural urge to want to meet our son, we're getting a bit antsy at Casa Griffatolo.

I mean, there are only so many ways to explain to a 2-and-a-half-year-old kid that her little brother is coming soon before she loses any sense of what those words mean. She can see that her mother's belly is bigger, and she knows (because we've told her) that her brother is in there. But it's all sort of abstract, to say the least. Heck, it's sort of abstract to me, and I have some idea of what's happening.

That said, she does have some notion of what's coming, and it's shown through in odd ways. For instance, when we brought baby stuff (e.g., Rock n' Play, baby swing, car seat) out of the attic, she wanted to put her baby doll in all of these things. But it didn't end there.

We may need to establish some ground rules concerning acceptable baby receptacles.

And the last time she got into her Play-Doh, she wanted to use her Mr. Potato Head parts to make baby brothers.

Which is exactly as creepy as it sounds.

What can you expect, though? The feeling of "what's next?" has permeated the air at our house.

Addressing the to-do list I posted last time, we've done practically everything except get the oven fixed (still my fault). We've cleaned, cooked, celebrated my birthday (early), and we're almost totally sickness free (the occasional cough notwithstanding). We've even jumped ahead a few weeks and made some Easter finery.

Division of labor in our house: Hollie made the hat, I made the bow tie.

Now that I think about it, the fact that I made his Easter outfit probably dooms us to a late delivery after the holiday.

Get a move on, G2. I spent like half an hour on that thing.

What to Expect in the Last Month of Expecting (and After)

G2's due date is March 28. With less than a month to go until his arrival, I've started mentally dividing my future plans into two categories: "before 2 kids" and "after 2 kids." There are things that I NEED to get done before G2 gets here and things that will undeniably occur afterward. (Of course, I say undeniably because we expect him to hold to his due date or earlier. He could surprise us and show up late, but for Hollie's sake, I hope not.) There are also significant (to me anyway) dates on the calendar that are going to happen when they happen, because that's how time works.

So without further ado, my life divided into two lists.

B2K

• Raise the crib to its highest level.
• Get a pile of things out of the attic and wash them (Rock n' Play, baby swing, infant clothes, etc.)
• It would be nice to stock the freezer with more food we can easily thaw, reheat and eat. I was much better about this the first time around.
• Speaking of the previous item, I need to get the oven fixed. It's been broken since November. I hate dealing with repairmen.
• Expunge sickness from my house. We're just now getting to the end of another round of everyone being sick. This needs to end, NOW. I do not want to deal with this crap with a newborn in the house. All viruses and bacteria, you have been warned. I will terminate with extreme prejudice, and copious DayQuil and antibiotics.
• Part of the above item: Aggressively clean the entire house.
• Cram in as much Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword as is reasonable, cuz I won't have time for video games that can't be played on an iPhone once the kid gets here. (Yes, I realize this game is more than two years old. I have a toddler. Don't judge me.
• Celebrate 33rd birthday. Celebrate is a strong word. I don't think I'll have time for celebration, even if G2 waits until after March 20 to arrive. Dutifully acknowledge my 33rd birthday?
• Finish LG's potty training. It would be nice to have only one set of diapers to change.

A2K

• Finish LG's potty training. Yeah, I hold no illusions that potty training will survive the impact of a baby brother entering LG's life.
• Re-arrange the kids' room. We need to make room for the crib AND toddler bed by replacing the futon with a comfortable chair (that hopefully turns into a bed).
• Doctor Who returns March 30!
• Celebrate Easter, though in what capacity, I have no idea. At the very least, LG will hunt for eggs in the backyard, provided it's not too cold or rainy.
• Movies I want to see, but will probably not see (at least not in theaters): Iron Man 3, Star Trek into Darkness, Man of Steel.

If it seems that the A2K list is a little pop culture heavy, it's only because of the season. It's summer blockbuster season in the age of the geek! I'm always going to miss something, but I can't think of a better reason to do so than integrating G2 into our lives.