A Serious Post about a Serious Thing

One month ago today, I experienced something that could have changed my life—and the lives of each member of my family—forever, and not for the better. Some of you have heard the story, and some haven't, but in the interest of providing a teaching moment, I'll share it here.

The short version: In one moment, I was cooking dinner at the stove; LG was dancing in the hallway to the left of the kitchen; and G2 was playing on the kitchen floor by the refrigerator, about 6 feet behind me. In the next moment, the cabinet 2 feet to my right—containing our stoneware and glassware—came crashing to the floor. The cabinet glanced off the countertop, pivoted on its way down, scraped down the side of my right calf and ankle in the split second that I turned toward the initial noise, and landed on the floor about 2 feet from my son, expelling broken glass and cracked dishes around him.

Now, because it's been a month, and you haven't heard any horrifying news about my family, you can safely and rightly assume that everyone is fine. I suffered only minor physical injuries, and short of a few minutes of crying from both children—largely as a response to the noise caused by the incident and my adrenaline-fueled scream-leap-and-scoop maneuver to get G2 away from the shards that surrounded him—the kids are fine, too.

The mental toll, however, is another matter entirely. Four weeks later, I can talk about it, even laugh it off, to some extent. But in the hours and days that followed, I was a wreck. "What if..." scenarios filled my dreams while I slept and fueled panic attacks when I was awake. I won't bore you with the myriad iterations of damage, injury or worse that I've conjured since then. Those of you with children can fill in the blanks yourselves; those of you without, I'm sure can at least consider what I might have lost in the fraction of a second it took for that cabinet to hit the floor.

My father, in an effort to put to words that which I could not in the aftermath of the incident, wrote the following:

We live in a precarious world. Never knowing when or if we may fall victim to some unforeseen calamity that could forever change our lives. Whether caught up in a sudden natural disaster or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time when danger strikes by human hand, the result is the same, a personal universe destroyed or irreparably harmed. These thoughts are far from our minds as we live out our daily lives busily scurrying to and fro. We only rarely experience or expect impending doom to exact its punishing effects upon ourselves or our psyche. But ready or not we must know that life is a tenuous thing, filled with uncertainty and possibilities for which we are unprepared. 

It is our reasoned expectation that we are safest in our own home, surrounded by the familiar and ensconced in the pleasing realm of family life. Then we are suddenly caught unawares, and for a time that feeling of security is shattered. This too will pass. The lingering effect of such an incident, however chilling, can serve to remind us of who and what we are and from whence we came as well as how fragile life can be.  

Thanks, Dad. Couldn't have put it better myself.

This incident has taught me two very important truths: one sort-of philosophical, the other more practical.

Be grateful for what you have. I can't believe I'm quoting Joni Mitchell, but "Don't it always seem to go/That you don't know what you've got/Till it's gone." Life is fast. Life is ephemeral. Everything can change in an instant. Don't take that for granted.

Never assume the person who installed your cabinetry knew what they were doing. The cabinet that fell was the largest single unit in my kitchen, and it's been there, holding those dishes, for the seven years we've lived in this house, and holding who-knows-what for who-knows-how-long before we moved in. It was held up by only two screws, one of which was drilled straight into drywall, not a stud. If you take nothing else from this story take this: It's worth your time to quickly double-check anything of moderate weight that is affixed to a wall in your home. It would not have occurred to me to do such a thing before, but it certainly will now.

I realize this post is not entertaining or replete with stories about the wacky things my kids get up to, but it is important. If nothing else, it's been a helpful exercise for me in getting over the what-might-have-been and getting back to the now.

Thanks for reading. Here are cute pictures of my kids.