Nursery Preview

We've spent a little bit of time so far getting the nursery ready. I already clued you in on the paint choice, which I'm still pleased about.

Some folks have been asking me about a nursery theme. In our quest to create a fun nursery, we've run through a couple of ideas. And there are some really cool, really cute decorations available.

My initial plan involved a Super Mario theme, and was one of several reasons we chose the wall color we did. But then I realized how expensive the vinyl sticker sets were, and I'd probably need to get at least two sets to do it up right. Then Hollie and I started balking on the notion of putting licensed characters on the walls of the kid's room. Now, it's not like we're going to eliminate all branded apparel/toys/decorations from our kid's life, (and this is a great discussion for another time) but putting giant cartoon characters on the walls is a slippery slope we aren't willing to slide down just yet.

Next, we thought about a generic, but playful, monster theme. As far as fabric for making sheet sets goes, there are a seemingly limitless number of options, if we're so inclined. We even picked up these random stuffed monster toys at the Disney store, which were crazy on-sale. Turns out Disney has a thing called the Happy Monster Band. Did anyone else know this existed? It's actually pretty cute, and the songs aren't bad, as far as children's music goes.

But we decided that while the colors for most of these options are nice, bright, and gender neutral, monsters as an entire concept probably skews a bit too masculine. And if I'm going to go out of my way to decry pink as an option for my little girl, I probably shouldn't go all the way to the opposite side, just in case it turns out that we have a boy.

So sticking with the color palette that a lot of the monster and Nintendo stuff had, we decided to just go fun, cheery, bright and high-contrasty (it's a word, trust me.)

To that end, we got these curtains we found on our last trip to IKEA. In addition to the red and blue on the bottom 2/3 of the fabric, there are squares of dark blue, yellow, green, pink and red. A nice variety of colors, I think.

In addition to the curtains, we're going to use Wall Pops, these vinyl color blocks you can get at A.C. Moore. You'll have to wait until we're finished to get the effect on the whole room, but I think it's going to be pretty sweet.

Plugged In, Turned On, Tuned Out

So much of what I've written up to this point, and so much of what's to come, deals with the unknown. I don't know exactly how a kid is going to change my life, I just know that she will. Clearly, I want to be the best dadI can be, but until I'm actually engaged in the act of parenting, it's all theory and no practice. That's life.

All that said, I can think and theorize and at least put some ideas in my head so that when the time comes to act, I've at least put some effort into making good, informed decisions and act in best interests of my child and family. Trouble is, then I read an article like this one in the New York Times.

The gist, for those of you don't usually click through because you're reading this on a smartphone (ironically), is that there's some burgeoning evidence that technology savvy parents are spending too much time in front of hi-tech devices, and not enough time engaging with their kids.

Take the picture at the top of the article. I'm sure this particular image was staged, but it's one I've seen often at restaurants. Mom and Dad glued to a phone while the kid is mesmerized by a hand-held video game. (Hilariously, while everyone else in this picture is focused on one device or another, the youngest child is staring at shiny spoon. Soon enough, kid, you too will have a blinking screen. Just practice staring at the spoon 'til then.)

As irritating as it is for me to see kids at restaurants completely disconnected from their families, intently focused on their games, they had to learn that behavior somewhere, right? The article makes the point that we've spent a lot of energy worrying about what the 24/7 wireless world is doing to kids using the technology, but not much time worrying about what we are doing to our kids because we're using the technology, too.

The article loses a bit of steam when it implies that the flickering screens (literally, the screens, not the abilities or benefits inherent in the technology) of our smartphones and laptops are the problem, creating an addiction that's hard to break. But it's hard to argue that spending less time plugged in and more time tending to our progeny is a bad thing.

What is come down to is this: As much as I love my iPhone, I pledge not to use it at the dinner table. As much as I love video games, I pledge to play with my kids, not in front of them. As much as I love the Internet, I pledge to use it for good, not for evil.

Okay, so I lost a bit of steam there towards the end, but my point is that technology doesn't have to disconnect us. And I don't mean to imply that we should suspend our relationship with technology. Far from it. I want my daughter to like video games; and I can't wait (he says with an intact iPhone bearing no scuff or scratch marks) until she's pawing away at the touchscreen on my phone, making sounds and shapes appear from nowhere.

It'll be a good time. I just have to remember where the off button is.

Trek Wars

There are many important decisions to be made when confronted with parenthood. Nursing vs. bottle feeding; cloth diapers vs. disposables; public vs. private school. All of these will determine how your child develops and grows. But these are topics for another post. Today, I confront a much weightier decision. One that could have ramifications for years to come.

When it comes to sci-fi, how do I raise my kid? Star Trek or Star Wars? It's a Great Geek Debate.

I'll paraphrase that deleted scene from Pulp Fiction.

My theory is that when it comes to important subjects, there's only two ways a person can answer. For example, there's two kinds of people in this world, Star Trek people and Star Wars people. Now Star Trek people can like Star Wars. And Star Wars people can like Star Trek. But nobody likes them both equally. Somewhere you have to make a choice.

My apologies to Quentin Tarentino.

When I was a kid, I had a friend in Boy Scouts who loved to argue this point. Really loved to argue it. He'd quote you the tech specs of Imperial Battle Cruisers and X-wing Fighters and tell you there's no way that any of the many Enterprises could hold a candle to them in terms of firepower. He'd rage for hours about The Force, and how much more powerful The Emperor or Luke Skywalker were than anyone in Star Trek. What do Trekkies have, anyway? A dude with pointy ears who pinches people? An android with a positronic brain? Please! And don't get him started on Boba Fett. Seriously, don't ever get him started on Boba Fett.

Clearly, as I'm sure you've guessed, I'm a Star Trek guy, or I wouldn't have had to endure these arguments. As these conversations (rants) occurred around 1992, I didn't have the prequels (Good Lord, the prequels.) to throw in his face, but likewise, he couldn't lambast Star Trek Nemesis (sweet merciful God was that movie bad).

But choosing how to expose kids to my favorite sci-fi is important, as least to me, so how do I make Star Trek seem cool? There aren't even any decent female role models for my daughter. Surely she'd rather be Princess Leia or Ahsoka Tano than Captain Janeway or Counselor Troi or, heaven forbid, Seven of Nine. I love Star Trek, and even I think those ladies are lame. (Although at least the Trek wiki is way cooler looking.)

And the concepts... surely it's way easier for kids to grasp the high action and good vs. evil in Star Wars than the deeply philosophical "why are we here" message that carries through most of Trek. Like I said, I love Star Trek, and even I recognize why kids would rather swing a lightsaber on Halloween than walk around in a blue jumpsuit with a beeping tricorder.

I guess I just have to accept that everything comes in stages. Star Wars, with its many movies, cartoons, comic books, games, toys and costumes, will probably come first, followed at some point, once she can sit still, by my favorite episodes of Next Generation or Enterprise.

In truth, I suppose I've already accepted it. I mean, I did buy this last week at a craft fair.
Seriously, how could I say no to a tiny t-shirt with an AT-ST on it? Some enterprising (see what I did there?) crafter needs to create a better version of this by the time my daughter arrives. That's all I'm saying.

What do you think? Star Trek or Star Wars? Which comes first?

Secret Superpowers

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a pretty emotional guy. I don't often get angry (although when I do, watch out), but little things will often cause the adam's apple to rise, the lips to quiver, and the eyes to get a little misty. Hollie will often turn to me during a not-especially-weepy movie to find that my lips are pressed into a firm line while I'm clearly suppressing (not always successfully) the urge to weep openly.

Titanic? Wept for an hour when I was 17. Where the Wild Things Are? At least three times. Old Yeller? Seriously, what is this, some kind of emotional torture device designed by Disney for the sole purpose of making boys cry?

For about the last four weeks (about the time we think we found out it's a girl), though, the big thing to get me? Thinking about all the good and bad; opportunities and trials; and happiness and disappointment my daughter will face in her life. Yeah, yeah, I know. Could I be more melodramatic. Probably not.

But I was listening to NPR on the way to work this morning, and this story played. It's just one of a special series of stories this year as part of a project called the Hidden World of Girls. The story in question was simply about one woman, science fiction writer Pat Cadigan, who, inspired as a child by The Day the Earth Stood Still, created a secret fantasy world with her best friend.

They imagined they were super-powered twins from Venus sent to Earth to secretly help those in need. The fact that those they deemed most in need were The Beatles, Superman and Wonderwoman shows that geekery knows no bounds of time or gender, even in the 1960s.

But the part that got me welling up a little was this: Even though they continued to play and create in their secret world well into their teens, they eventually grew apart. Lives move along, as lives tend to do, and this relationship that was so important when they were younger suddenly had no relevance to their grownup world. It's a loss of innocence, and although it's completely normal part of growing up, it struck me as sad.

I'm excited for my daughter to get here. I really am. I want to see her grow and mature and experience all that life has to offer. I just hope we can stave off that loss of innocence for as long as we can. Surely the world will always need a few secret superheroes.

Backyard Safari

I spent a lot of time outside as a kid. Sure, I had video games from the time I was 7; I watched a lot of cartoons, or as much as could be achieved through a roof-mounted antenna; and I had (and still do have) pretty bad pollen allergies. But all of these things didn't prevent me from enjoying the outdoors, even if it just meant playing in my backyard. With my next-door neighbor Tina, I climbed trees, played in the sandbox, jumped off the swing set, hid in the shed, and generally took advantage of the green space immediately available to me.

If my previous post didn't make it clear, nowadays I still spend a lot of time outdoors, although mostly in the service of making my backyard more hospitable. Of the many reasons I do this, one has increasingly been on my mind. I hope my kid likes being outside as much as I do, and I want our current backyard to be as inviting as the one I enjoyed during the first nine years of my life. (Which is not to say that I didn't enjoy the backyard of the house we moved to in 1989. It was much, much bigger. My current backyard is just more in keeping with the yard I first enjoyed.)

Right now, Hollie is re-reading Richard Louv's Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder. The gist of his argument is that kids aren't spending enough time exploring and engaging with nature, with the end result that they're more hyperactive, prone to behavioral disorders, and generally disconnected from the living environment around them.

Now, you won't catch me banning video games or TV from our house, but I hope to expose my kid to the wonder of the outdoors, even, and especially, the outdoors in her own backyard. As soon as she can crawl, she'll crawl through the shade that covers our property. As soon as she's able to stand, she'll be standing barefoot in the grass. As soon as she can toddle, she'll likely be doing so right through the flowers planted in my landscaped beds.

And I want to show her the things I find fascinating, like these crazy mushrooms we found in the mulch last fall.
It's scientific name is Phallus rubicundus, although we can save that particular piece of etymology until she's a little older.

Or we can revel in this crazy weed that grew in one of last year's hanging baskets. It started growing last year in a basket that we used to plant a few bulbs. When it was small, it looked an awful lot like some of the things we actually put in there on purpose. It got about a foot tall last year, never flowered, then wilted when the frost came last winter. (Yeah, I'll admit it. I was lazy and didn't take care of it last year.) Then in the spring, SURPRISE! It came back and kept growing and growing.
I don't know if you can appreciate this without a human reference point, but that sucker is about 6 feet-4 inches tall. When I started fixing up the backyard last week, I decided that this would be the very last weed I took care of. And when I pulled it out of the pot, it took all the dirt with it, because the root had curled round and round the basket.
The root was about 3 feet long and wrapped around the basket almost three times. I guess that explains why the heavy winds we had earlier this year never uprooted it. I don't know if these sorts of things will amaze my daughter as much as me, but I hope she gets a little of my curiosity.

And while I may get arguments from Hollie if I try to take a little kid up a 10-foot ladder, I feel like I have to share an image like this next one. I know it shows off a little bit more of my laziness, but in my defense, I did clean out the back gutters a couple of times this season.
I recognize the danger in letting the gutters fill up, and I'm usually much better about it, but this picture is almost worth it. And it was even more impressive when you were actually looking at it. Had to be at least a hundred tiny maple trees growing in the piles of whirligigs.

I'm not saying that sharing all this with my daughter will somehow make her a better person or a more well-behaved child, but it certainly couldn't hurt, right?

Unless we fall off the ladder...

Mega-post: Backyard Nesting

As promised, MEGA-POST, with lots of pictures and explanation. Among other things, I've been busy fixing up the backyard over the past two weeks. (I've also been making jewelry for a craft show in Collingswood over Memorial Day weekend, but that's a story for another day.)

I've been reading a lot lately about the concept of nesting during a pregnancy. I don't know that I'm nesting yet. As I previously mentioned, I painted the kid's room last August, and aside from cleaning the junk out of the room, most of what we need to do at this point is get some baby furniture. A little de-clutterification, and we should be all set. (It's at this point that Hollie may disagree, but I'll leave that to her in the comments.)

But if I am nesting anywhere, it's in the backyard. Every year since we moved in, I've attempted some degree of landscaping. A few rose trellises here, a rounded corner with a birdbath there--all in the attempt to make the backyard a prettier place, less habitable to weeds. And every spring, it feels like I have to start all over again. This year, however, I have an incentive to really get things straightened out. Because in May of 2011, I'll have an 8-month old daughter, and I'd really prefer not to waste my weekends replanting and replanting and replanting. Thus I give you: Operation Less Work in 2011

Last weekend, this is just a small taste of the challenge that faced me in the backyard.
You can click on the picture to blow it up, although you do so at your own peril. That blotchy sunlight is a killer. And it's just about the only sunlight I get back there, so the only things that manage to come back every year are dandelions and at least three different kinds of wild onions (no, I haven't eaten any. Hollie won't let me.)

In the interest of setting reasonable expectations, the only thing I wanted to finish last weekend was this corner. And since our soil is so bad, Hollie and I decided to put a raised flower bed right here. The picture above makes it look more triangular, but the corner bed we carved out last year is rounded. In keeping with my geek status, I figured out the size of the raised bed by measuring the radius of the outer edge's arc, then treated that as the bisecting diagonal of a perfect square--essentially the hypotenuse of two equilateral triangles. As it happened, the sides of my square worked out to be a nearly perfect 60 inches, or 5 feet.

Next step: Once I cleared the area of weeds, I dug two 5-foot trenches, meeting at a right angle. I lined the trenches with cloth weed barrier, then covered the weed barrier with loose stone as a base for my wall, which I built using landscape timbers.
I used rocks to form a level surface. I'm not a perfectionist by nature, but I knew I'd kill myself trying to scrape a perfect level surface directly in the dirt.

Unfortunately, the timbers each had to be measured and cut separately as I built the wall, because: A). Each side, while theoretically 60 inches, changed slightly as the wall grew, because of the differing depth of my fence versus my neighbors fence; and B). Only one side at a time could be 60 inches--the other would have to be 60 inches minus the width of the timbers, generally about 4 inches, but the timbers weren't manufactured very precisely, so the width varied.

That sounds more complicated than it was, because cutting and building the wall only took about an hour. I spent more time just clearing the weeds out of the way.
That's not the completed wall, but it's nearly all the wood. Once the wall was built--and perfectly level and square, due to the stones and my earlier math--I drilled five holes through the timbers: one in the corner and two on each side. I had to drill through one layer, hit the one below it, then remove each layer, and repeat the process. My goal was to hammer five 2-foot-long rebar spikes through the walls to keep them upright once I filled it with dirt.

And once the spikes were in, I double checked my levels, just to be sure. Pay close attention to that center bubble. It's a thing of beauty.

After that, I mitered a 10-foot board, which worked perfectly given the sides 5-foot length, and screwed it to the top. Then it was just a matter of filling the box with dirt and planting the appropriate greenery. We chose a hydrangea bush and several periwinkle. We won't get any flowers on the periwinkle this year, since they bloom in early spring, but the hydrangea should look pretty good in a couple of weeks. One more thing that I hopes ensure success: I'm fertilizing using the worm poop/compost we harvested from last year's crop of red wigglers.

Tada!
Please excuse the lack of mulch to the right. I fixed it a week later, and I'll post pictures of the completed project soon.

This project has been Lola approved.

Don't Forget Your Towel

First and foremost, I hope never to go this long without posting at least a little something to the blog. In tomorrow's post (henceforth known as mega-post) I'll delve a bit into what's been keeping me so busy in the last week and a half.

But today, I wanted to bring to your attention something very special. Today, May 25, is Geek Pride Day. CNN and Wikipedia agree, so it must be real.

I'm celebrating by taking the day off. Not really. I scheduled today off before I realized what day it was. And I'm not exactly taking it easy, but I'll get into that in megapost.

And in what's known in the news trade as burying your lead, I'd like to wish hoopy froods everywhere a very Happy Towel Day! Do yourself a favor and read some Douglas Adams today. You'll be glad you did.

Now there's a frood who really knows where his towel is.