Strange Tales in Kiddie Lit: The First in a Series

As I've previously noted, LG really enjoys books.
And we really like reading to her. Before every nap, and before bedtime, we read at least one story, which means we've read a lot of stories more than a few times. As you read these stories over and over, you start to notice things.

Like the fact that a lot of kids' books are weird.

Seriously strange, as a matter of fact.

Sometimes it's just poor writing. Take Danny and the Dinosaur, for example. It's a perfectly fine book, to be sure. In a nutshell, it's a fantasy about a young boy who visits a museum, meets a dinosaur, then spends the day adventuring around his town with the titular dinosaur.

Setting aside for a moment any problems about whether or not dinosaurs are alive now, or able to talk, or resemble sauropods who walk upright, there's some strange goings-on here. And it's mostly the fault of the words the author has chosen. What am I talking about?

A little setup for this picture: Danny and the Dinosaur are visiting the zoo, which is a lot of fun, not just for them, but the other zoo patrons as well. Too much fun, in fact, as the Dinosaur is so distracting, no one is paying attention to the other animals. And then this happens:
I realize this is a First Reader book, but page 38 features some pretty strange language, by any measure. Tell me, is "Please go away so people will look at the animals again" really that much harder to read? I'm not a huge stickler for not ending sentences with prepositions, but that's some awkward construction.

To say nothing of the fact that this admonishment comes from a "zoo man." Zoo man? Not Animal Trainer, not Caretaker, not--for crying out loud-- Zookeeper?

I try to imagine the conversation that might've occurred between the author, Syd Hoff, and his editor. Maybe it went something like this:

Syd Hoff: I'm writing this dinosaur book, and I'm stuck on the part about the place with all the animals. What's the name of the place with all the animals?
Editor: That'd be a zoo, Syd.
Syd Hoff: Right, right... who runs that place, the place with all the animals?
Editor: That'd be the Zoo Man, Syd.
Syd Hoff: Great. That's why I keep you around, Word Fixing Man.

Okay, so maybe I'm being a bit hard on a book for little kids. It really is a fun book, and we like it a lot. We actually picked our copy up at a yard sale, because it's tough to find an older copy in good condition online.

But this next book... it's hard to find the words to describe the weirdness on display here, but I'll try.

Goodnight Moon, a beloved classic, sure. For me, the illustrations in general are a little unsettling, but your mileage may vary.

Aside from the general creepiness of the book, I have a some specific issues with the bunny family depicted therein. Both of my problems can be found on this spread:
Any guesses as to what I'm talking about? Take a look at the lower right portion of the picture, under the little bunny's bed.
These nice, pleasant, peaceful looking bunnies have what appears to be a tiger skin rug in their child's room. Setting aside the unpleasantness of a skinned animal in a kid's room, how on earth did these bunnies get a tiger skin rug? Exactly what kind of bunnies are these, anyway?

Creepy bunnies, as evidenced by my next point. In a story that points out nearly every aspect of a child's room (including a bowl full of mush), it's interesting what the author chooses to leave out. First, she leaves out the tiger skin rug. Then she leaves out this little gem.Seriously. That just happened.

What on earth is going on in this picture? Calling it like I see it, there appears to be a enormous bunny--decked out in waders and a bait pouch--fly fishing. Except he's not catching fish. He's catching a smaller, stream-dwelling bunny. That, my friends, is messed up.

In truth, it's not hard to understand why Margaret Wise didn't describe this painting in the text of the book. Look at the other pictures. Cow jumping over the moon? Easy to describe. Three little bears sitting on chairs? Couldn't be simpler. But a cannibalistic, fly-fishing lagamorph who appears to have knocked over a tree for some reason?

I'd be at a loss, too.

Spaced Out

I'm not much of an astronomy nerd, but I love space. Could be my deep and abiding love for Star Trek, or just sci-fi in general, but I get excited about the possibility of space travel, even though I won't live to see the day an ordinary guy can take a trip to the moon.

But that doesn't mean I can't celebrate exciting events in space history. This week (on LG's 7-month birthday, in fact) marks two separate space travel milestones. On April 12, 1961, a Russian cosmonaut named Yuri Gagarin was the first man to travel in space. Twenty years later, on April 12, 1981, NASA launched space shuttle Columbia, the first reusable space vehicle.

Adding to the excitement this week, NASA announced which museums would receive the three retiring space shuttles. Shortly after that announcement, Sotheby's auctioned off a Russian space capsule that sent a dog and a mannequin in a flight suit into space and back again. Safely.

It's a good week to be a fan of space. And I'm celebrating the only way I know how. Doing silly things on Twitter. Check out the feed to the right of the blog, or visit my feed directly at http://twitter.com/SolvingForG.

I promise more pictures like this one of LG in her reusable spaceship:

Belated Six Month Update

LG turned six months old 12 days ago, and her six-month checkup was just last week. She clocked in at 26.75 inches and 15 lbs., 5 oz. For those keeping track at home, that puts her about 1.25 inches longer than her four-month visit, and 1 lb., 14 oz. heavier.

And you feel every ounce, too! It's weird. I can hold her for a lot longer now than when she was first born, and I don't get the intense shoulder pain. BUT there's a consistent dull ache around my shoulder all the time. I'm guessing rotator cuff strain, but who knows?

You wouldn't think another 1.25 inches would make much difference, but she's grown out of nearly every article of 3-6 month clothing we have, and most 6-9 month stuff, too. And it's increasingly obvious she's getting too big for the bouncy seat. R.I.P. bouncy seat. You served us well.

Regarding percentiles, which I have lately begun to realize I'm not obsessed with anymore, she's actually dropped from the 95th to 85th percentile in length. Now in any given group of 100 6-month old babies, there are 15 kids longer than her instead of five. However, she's also dropped within the weight percentile as well, from 50th to 35th. She's long and lean, so it's really nothing to worry about, but we have increased the number of solid meals she gets every day from one and a half (sort of) to three full meals. We were planning on doing that after we hit six months (and a larger variety of available food) anyway. She doesn't mind. She's loved solid food ever since we started a week after her 4-month visit.

Her diet is becoming more varied, too. One of these days I'll get a post up about making baby food, but in the meantime, here's a list of what she's eating up to this point.

Carrots
Yams
Rutabaga
Squash
Cauliflower
Parsnip
Banana
Pear
Apple
Rice Cereal
Oatmeal

We tried peas early on, but we were concerned they may have been responsible for an allergic rash on her face. Granted, at that time, a different rash seemed to pop up twice a week, regardless of what else was going on, so it may not have been related. I'm giving peas another shot this week. So far, so good. We also attempted apricots, but they were too darn sour. It's the only thing she's out and out refused to eat after the first bite or two.

The doctor says meat is okay now, so my plan for this Saturday is developing a palatable chicken puree. I've also got mango waiting in the wings, and I hope to get some green beans finished soon as well. Oh, and there is a beet puree in the freezer that I made when I was feeling really adventurous, but I think we're going to hold off a while on that.

That hits the highlights for 6-months, I think.

Oh, right. She had a tooth pop through her bottom gums two and half weeks before she turned six months, and a second one finally broke through the day after the doctor's visit. She can really gnaw the heck out of an apple slice now.

It looks kind of like this.

Tweetle Beetle Puddle Paddle Battle (Happy Birthday, Dr. Suess)

I'm getting this in about three hours under the wire, at least on the East Coast, but I wanted to take this time to commemorate what would be the 107th birthday of Theodor Suess Geisel.

I loved to read growing up, in no small part because my dad spent a lot of time reading to me. We read a lot of things, but I fondly remember Bartholomew and the Oobleck, The Lorax, and The Sneetches.

Hollie and I read to LG before every nap, before bedtime, and even during times not designed to make her sleepy. Hollie alluded to her love of Dr. Suess and Sandra Boynton in her earlier post, and although Boynton has her place, for my money, you just can't beat Dr. Suess. I'm hoping that all the reading we do now is setting her up to enjoy it as she gets older.

LG won't sit still for the long books just yet, like The Lorax, but the short stories and early readers are just fine. My personal favorite at the moment is Fox in Socks. I love those tongue twisters. I find that the faster you read them, the easier it gets. Or at least the better it sounds. Either way, LG seems to enjoy it.
She also likes Mr. Brown Can Moo! She reads it in her bouncy seat.

She reads it when she's got pink feet.

She reads it when she's laying down.

She reads it when she's... ah crap. This is harder than it looks, and I'm out of pictures.

Anyway, Happy Birthday, Dr. Suess! You were way better at this than I am!

Alphabet Bandwagon, You Have Been Jumped

Hollie pointed me toward a blog post on Babble yesterday that referenced another blog post I'm not too proud to copy. When I worked for a magazine, there were types of articles I never minded writing: Q&As and Lists. This falls squarely into the latter category, so without further ado, here's Solving for G's Alphabet of the Moment.

A: Air quality. We're in the middle of a warm spell in the Philadelphia region--which is wonderful--and it's a fantastic chance to open the windows and blow out the stale winter air in our house. Just the opportunity to let the faint diaper pail smell waft outside rather than into my kitchen is refreshing.

B: Bath time. I'm happy to say that after a rough start to baths just after she was born, Little G has settled into a pattern of enjoying bath time. Sometimes she plays with the water, sometimes she flings toys across the tub, and sometimes she weirdly hunches forward when we're trying to rinse her hair, resulting in water and soap in her eyes. But she never cries, and it's almost always fun.

C: Cloth diapers. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. These are a lot less trouble than you'd think, and they're the main reason we only buy a small pack of disposable diapers every three to four weeks.

D: Driving. Has gotten a lot harder since Little G screams in the car if she's not asleep. Anyone know how to fix this? Everyone told me kids love the car...

E: Espresso. Every few days the only way I make it through the afternoon is with a Cafe Americano or a Red Eye. God Bless You, Red Hook Coffee & Tea.

F: Fauxhawks. Little G has been rocking a pretty wicked fauxhawk for some time now. You don't even have to style it that way on purpose. It just happens.

G: Griffin. It's weird that Hollie and I made another person, and now this is her last name. I really only think about it when I call or visit the pediatrician.

H: Hollie. I love her. 'Nuff said.

I: Irish/Italian. I wonder if this is how Little G will respond when people ask about her heritage. I mean, in truth, she's Scotch-Irish/Italian/German/French/Polish, and God knows what else. But that's kind of a long answer.

J: Justified. Just watched the second episode of the second season. Fantastic show, fantastically presented. I really wish FX ran 22 episode seasons, because 13 episodes is just not enough.

K: Kith and Kin. The primary readers of this blog. Incidentally, this is the second letter which has a double entry. I feel like I should get double points, but blogging is not Scattergories.

L: Little G. Okay, so this comes halfway through a post of no particular significance, but starting here, I'm using LG when I refer her. I love her, but I'm saving myself the additional six characters when I talk about her. It saves time and gives me an additional six characters to play with on Twitter. That's six more characters of cute I can cram in to every post.

M: March. In which I turn 31, officially entering my fourth decade on this planet, which blows my mind.

N: Normality. Adjusting to the new normal of my life as a dad has just sort of happened. I am certainly surprised by things from time to time, but for the most part, I have a kid, and I don't think about the concept that much. She's really integrated herself into our lives quite well. I can't really conceive of a time when she didn't exist.

O: Oranges. Tiny ones. Specifically, clementines. I've eaten more of these this winter than in years previous. I don't know if they've contributed to my surprising lack of sickness this season, but it certainly couldn't have hurt.

P: Parent. I've been one for five months, and it still feels odd to say it, which I realize sort of contradicts 'N' above.

Q: Quiet talking. LG has been experimenting with quiet babbling, which is really cute, and funny, and a nice counterpoint to randomly shouting for no particular reason.

R: Rutabaga. I can count on one hand the number of times I've eaten this vegetable. But I made pureed rutabaga for LG, and she didn't hate it. She has officially eaten more rutabaga in the last week than I've eaten in my entire life. I realize I can't count on her liking it in the future, but I'm glad she's responding to it now.

S: Sufjan Stevens. Is what I'm listening to right now. First spin through The Age of Adz, and I dig it. It's like regular Sufjan, but with more beeps and boops. It actually sounds a lot like The Flaming Lips.

T: Tea. I drink with jam and bread. Wait, what was I doing?

U: Ukeleles. I've always like this instrument, and based on the number of stories NPR has done on them in the last year, I am not alone.

V: Volkwagen. As in the best commercial of the Superbowl. Rightfully considered the highlight of the game, in the mind of this non-sports fan.

W: Wii. Which is hasn't been a gaming device for at least five months. Were it not for Netflix streaming, I don't think I'd even turn it on.

X: X-men: First Class. I wasn't excited about this movie, but then I saw the trailer.

Y: Yams. The current food in LG's 4-day food rotation. She likes it better than rutabaga. It's fun to watch her when she really enjoys food. She shakes her fists and moans loudly. She can't eat it fast enough.

Z: Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz. As you can plainly see.
Alright, your turn. What's your alphabet right now?

9 Baby Things We Can't Live Without

In the spirit of Hollie's epic list last week, I've put together my own list, but this time a list of items that have proven themselves indispensable since Little G joined our family. Some of the times were gifts, others we bought ourselves, but all of them have made our lives easier in one way or another. If you're having kids any time in the near future, these things come highyly recommended by us, but your mileage may vary.

1. Fisher-Price Newborn Rock n' Play Sleeper - I say this with only slight hyperbole: This thing might've saved Hollie's life. As with most newborns, trying to figure out how best to get Little G to sleep was a challenge, to say the least. The crib was a complete no-go. Would not sleep in it at all. The pack-and-play bassinet worked a little better, but I have no idea why, and even then, it wasn't that great. The only thing that worked with any consistency was sleeping on one of us while we slept on the couch. Not comfortable for us, and not really safe for her.

And on top of that trouble, Hollie had a cold that just kept getting worse. And worse. And then came shortness of breath, then chest pain. Kind of hard to feed the baby, let alone have her sleep on your chest. In the middle of all of that, we're willing to try anything to get Little G to sleep, not on us. So Hollie finds this sleeper on Amazon, and the reviews are nothing short of miraculous. Something like 500 positive reviews, and two negative. So we went out one Friday night and picked it up.

It should be said, it didn't work right away. But one week later, when I rushed Hollie and the baby to urgent care because Hollie couldn't walk two steps without losing her breath and Hollie was subsequently diagnosed with pneumonia, Little G slept for seven hours for the first time ever. Then she did it the next night, and the next night. And with a few exceptions, she's slept that well every night since. Might be the main reason Hollie doesn't still have pneumonia.

Seriously. Miraculous.

2. Stolen hospital blankets - So I'm not certain we actually stole these. The nurses seemed to imply we could take whatever wasn't nailed down, so we took lots of stuff. These blankets, though, have been really useful, mainly for one reason. For Little G, they are great swaddling blankets. If she were a much chubbier baby, or fought more in her sleep, I don't know that these would work as well. But swaddling, as much as the sleeper above, has been key in getting her to sleep well at night.

3. My Brest Friend pillow - Silly name, great product. I won't say too much about this beyond the fact that it's made Hollie's life much, much easier.

4. Jeep Child Carrier - Baby won't lay on her gym mat without fussing? Not time for a nap? Arms about to give out because you just can't hold her any more? Pop her in this carrier facing outward, and you're good to go for 30 minutes of hands-free fun. We briefly tried a baby sling, but Little G wanted nothing to do with it. This, on the other hand, has been tremendously useful since she's been big enough to fit in it.
Just follow the warnings printed inside. "This baby carrier is designed for use by adults while walking only. Please be aware that normal activities or motions may now be dangerous to your child and caution should be used." And here's my favorite part: "DO NOT cook, clean, run, ski, bike, ride horses or use any type of motorized vehicles while using this product." You know, just avoid normal activities, like SKIING and HORSEBACK RIDING. I really don't want to know about the lawsuits that inspired those inclusions in this warning.

5. Onesie extenders - When your kid is in the 95 percentile for her length, she's going to grow out of clothes strangely. A onesie that fits great around the neck, midsection and sleeves is still likely to come up short around the butt, especially with the bulky re-usable diapers we use. We were going through a lot of onesies just because she was too long. And then Hollie discovered these at the store one day. Voila! All the 3-6 months onesies fit again.

6. iPhone - Do not underestimate the many, many uses for this device. Yes, it's a last resort entertainment device for when she just won't stop crying (especially in the car), but it's a lot more. Let's say you're up in the middle of the night, rocking a fussy baby. Let's also say that you've had very little sleep, and it's possible you might fall asleep standing up. If you've got an iPhone in one hand, at the very least you can read, watch or play something that will keep you from passing out and dropping your kid.

But it's also great to have around when you need a little music. The speaker isn't great, but a little tinny changing table music never hurt anyone. The Pandora app gets regular use when I just can't think of another song to sing.

7. Plastic Rings - Her favorite toy at the moment. She can chew them, lick them, wave them, or just chuck 'em across the room. Best $4 we've spent on a toy at this point.

8. Hungry Little Caterpillar stuffed toy - It hangs above her changing table, and I think might be the reason she loves that table so much. If she's crying due to a wet diaper, one squeak or rattle from this thing, and she calms right down.

9. Makeshift White Noise Generator - Truth be told, I'm not certain how effective this has been, but it certainly feels like it helps. When we first had trouble getting her to nap during the day, we were so careful not to make any noise, but squeaky floorboards made it difficult. So we pulled out a portable speaker, downloaded a 10 minutes white noise track from iTunes, (actually, it's technically "brown" noise. If you're curious, google white noise, brown noise, and pink noise. I think you'll be surprised. White noise is actually quite irritating.) and hooked up Hollie's iPod.

Hollie dropped a metal tin outside her room later that day, and she didn't wake up. While I wouldn't recommend clanging a lot of metal around just to test the effectiveness of the noise, I do feel like it's the only reason we're able to talk above a whisper without waking her up.

I'm sure I'm missing some things for this list, so I'll be sure to follow up when I remember them.

So what about you? Anything you couldn't live without? Anything your parents told you they couldn't live without when you were a baby?

Here Comes Mama

Hollie (aka Little G's mama) here, filling in for Matt. I thought I would take his prolonged blog silence as my cue to put in my two cents.

In honor of Valentine's day, I thought I would offer up a list of things I love (complete with footnotes):

• Socks that look like shoes
• The Mexican Hat Dance 1
• Sleepy smiles
• 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed
• The word poop 2
• Throaty baby giggles
• Naptime
• A Christmas Story-level bundling for the cold
• Unintentionally funny kiddie books 3
• Toothless grins
• Singing the wrong words to just about every song I thought I knew the words to
• Tiny fingers
• The Very Hungry Caterpillar
• Baby Dancing 4
• Looking at pictures from 5 months ago...and 5 minutes ago
• Onesies
• Baby toes
• Eating whatever I want under the guise of "I need this to make food for the baby."
• Heart-to-hearts with Little G
• Teething on Daddy's fingers
• Faux-hawks 5
• Having to defend my pizza from little grabby hands
• Belly raspberries
• Spit bubbles
• Sitting up with the aide of the crack in the sofa
• Nicknames 6
• Chubby cheeks
• Soft skin 7
• Dr. Seuss and Sandra Boynton
• Beautiful brown eyes
• Milky satisfied face
  
• Tupperware 8
• Little G
• ...and Big G.

Happy (early) Valentine's day to my little sweetie and my big sweetie!


Notes:
1. She has a toy that plays it. Despite its questionable racial insensitivity, it makes me smile every time...
2. Especially when it forms the base of a new word i.e. "It was the Poopocalypse!" This is something I love only until Little G thinks it's funny.
3. Re-read Danny and the Dinosaur. Funny stuff.
4. Baby dancing at this stage basically amounts to wildly waving your arms whilst laying on your back and the ever-popular "kick your feet like a maniac sitting somewhat upright in your bouncy seat."
5. Baby faux-hawks only. Adults, go big or go home.
6. My current favorite: Cheeks Magoo. I also have been known to call her Poops McGee. (See #2) My family's favorite is Bubbles LaRue. That one sounds like she is headlining in a 1920s burlesque show.
7. Especially the little fold at the back of neck. Nuzzling her neck when I rock her to sleep may very well be the moment I miss the most when she's a big kid.
8. One of Little G's favorite toys. She goes all lamprey on them: